'I first encountered Vikas at the Poplar Poetry Evening (run by WSR alum Rayon), and I was taken by the sensitivity and exploration of self in his poems. Vikas was open with the crowd about working through difficult things in his poetry. We connected on that and began a dialogue and started seeing each other at poetry nights. A highlight of which was Vikas inviting me to hear him speak and receive an award at the Carers UK poetry competition night hosted at The National Poetry Library. This is a yearly presentation of a collection of poems written by those that care for others and it was a very moving evening. That is what I love about this poetry community. It opens doors to the mind and to opportunities to engage with others who have been through similar human experiences. It was wonderful to take that full circle and shoot the portraits back at the Southbank Center a floor above the library. Vikas arrived looking pristine and with a collection of notebooks and poems for us to work with together. The collaboration has culminated in this edition of Write Speak Recover and I am so blessed to bring you Vikas’ story and poetry.' - Tim Foley, Founder, Write Speak Recover
Please be mindful WSR content can be thematically sensitive.
Vikas
I am not good at writing in prose and hence I write poetry. This may come from my history of anxiety and depression that I suffered for many years leading to social awkwardness. I am not a good communicator and struggle to form relationships. This in turn leads to more anxiety and depression due to lonely times. I am aware of this now after my marriage breakdown a few years ago which not only made me suffer emotional trauma due to the obvious reasons, but also to my daughter becoming estranged. This led me to a stage of severe depression. I attempted suicide twice in 2022 but survived thanks to one of my friends who was worried about me.
During that process of struggle, of life and death, poetry found me. It provided me with the medium to express myself, to take out my anger non-violently on a piece of paper. To be frank, another thing may have helped me too - whisky. I won’t recommend that to anyone now. But I guess it helped me to loosen up and get ready to put pen to paper. It also helped me to ‘not judge’ what I was writing. I wrote in Hindi and Marathi initially being my mother tongues which I was comfortable to write with. But after a while, I started writing in English, pouring my feelings out. I felt a change in me as I started recovering and feeling hopeful. I started dreaming again.
I met a painter Hsinyu Lu from Taiwan in a painting workshop in 2023 in Manchester. We became friends and she read some of my poems. She painted a few of those in her own medium with her own interpretation. Many were selected for exhibitions in London, Paris, Barcelona, Tokyo, New York. The response from people in these exhibitions was profound. She encouraged me to write a book compiling these poems. I worked on that for few months but did not have the courage to publish it. Then I moved to London in Dec 2024. Which was a turning point in my journey so far.
I attended my first open mic in January 2025 at Dalston Lounge. I was so scared to read my first poem. I could barely hear myself on that day. But people encouraged me and believed in me. So I went on to the next open mic and the next. I realised that people do listen to poetry and remember you for your words. This gave me the confidence to work on my book which I eventually published in May 2025. It's titled 'Life is Beautiful Again' and depicts my journey of severe depression and anxiety to finding kindness and beauty of life. Since then my poems have been published in various magazines such as SHINE, 3ElementsReview, PentoPrint, Pimlico Library, TheatreDeli. I won a prize for a poem inthe Carer UK poetry competition recently and my work was also selected for the Kensington and Chelsea Poetry competition on ’Equity’ and was included in Poetry Fringe event and the K&C Poetry trail. After all that feedback and I have grown in confidence. I I have published my second book of poetry ‘A Bridge Long Enough’.
So overall, I will say ‘Life is Beautiful Again’.
The Strength in Solitude
I once feared being by myself,
The silence felt so loud,
But now, I’ve come to understand
The peace within the shroud.
Solitude is not my enemy,
It is my greatest friend,
For in the quiet, I have found
A place where I can mend.
The noise of life can drown my soul,
The chaos steals my breath,
But in the stillness of my mind,
I find the strength of depth.
I stand alone, not lost, not weak,
But whole, without the crowd,
For in my solitude, I see
The truth I’ve never bowed.
On the writing process
My writing process is simple. I generally write at any time. Whenever I get spurts of imagination, ideas or seeds, I write them down in my Samsung Notes. When I am travelling on the tube or train, I expand on those ideas. I generally deep dive into one idea and swim in it without constraints. I become the character in the theme and explore it vividly. In poetry, it generally takes me 15-30 minutes to write a first draft. I keep it like that for few days before taking a relook into it. I think that gives me a new perspective and helps me find different angles or add me more perspective. Generally, I stop working on that poem after my second draft and then I share the new poem in my open mic events to gauge response. I do not necessarily change anything in my poems based on any feedback as I believe my poems are my takes on my experiences in my words. I have tried writing sonnets, haikus, tryptech, prose-poems, cinquain, triolet and other types. But I generally write in a free form and let the words flow without insisting that it should follow any rhythm or rhyme. For me the words and the emotions in the poem are more important than the style. I am involved with various poetry groups in London and online and would like to particularly mention the Heron’s Stange Birds Poetry group. I learn from different poets while they share their poems and their process, and I continue to experiment and am still seeking my style. I think it is a life long process and I may not stick to one style or the other.
Favourite poets, poetry nights, books or other resources:
Lemn Sissy
Mandy Schiffrin
Dilys Wyndham Thomas
Joe Clegg
Charles Bukowski
Write Speak Recover, in collaboration with TheNeverPress is an open, free collection of original portraits of poets using their art to find strength in their recovery journey from any form of dis-ease.
We invite you to follow Write Speak Recover on Instagram and to reach out to Tim Foley at WSR or us directly at the zine to learn more, or put yourself forward to be featured in this initiative.
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If you need support, here are some resources:
Samaritans
Alcohol Change
Recovery Dharma
Alcoholics Anonymous
Be kind. Stay present. One moment after the next.
This article was put together by Tim Foley, the WSR contributor and Graham Thomas.
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