I met Michael at the lovely writing group that Ruth Beddow hosts at Morocco Bound. He always greets you with a smile and an offer of a seat at his table. Michael has music and magic in him - spending time in his orbit is time soulfully spent. We met at Peckham Rye Park for the portrait shoot and we let the park lead us as we chatted and wandered among the canopies and hidden pathways. Suddenly coming upon a spot where we’d both stop and say “oh this is good!”. Which made for a very organic shoot. We both became part of the nature of the place and each other for a while away from the noise of the city. Michael’s article is open, honest and a call to artistic arms. There are parallels from our woodland shoot in how he has trusted himself and his artfulness to lead him through the tangled undergrowth of life and all its challenges. Enjoy.
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Michael
I am a poet, an author, a musician and a visual artist. I was born in southeast London but hold a deep affinity with my Irish Heritage, through which I have been exposed to its music, its folklore and storytelling traditions and those have greatly influenced my work.
As a child I was diagnosed with Autism, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. Growing up as a neurodivergent child in a system that seemed to relish in telling me “everything you’re doing is wrong,” instilled an outsider mentally in me. That I’m better off alone than around other people, which has also been a large, over-arching theme in my work. (Looking back, this feels like something of a contradiction as I now have many wonderful friends whom I enjoy spending time with. Even if I do find it draining sometimes!). This also led to further diagnoses in more recent years of OCD, depression, anxiety and body dysmorphias. For as long I can remember, being able to create work artistically (especially through writing poetry and lyrics for my songs) has given me solace in my darkest moments, helped me express emotions that I could not otherwise fully articulate and has helped me make sense of this world that I have found myself in.
Many of my earliest experiences of performing my work in public were at local poetry open mics. Reading both poems and lyrics to my songs that I did not yet have the confidence to sing. From this I progressed to performing at music open mic nights on the London grassroots scene which has led to some of the most amazing experiences of my life, as well as to meeting some of my nearest and dearest friends.
A few years ago I went back to my roots as a poet, with the idea that it would inform my lyric writing. I started attending the poetry workshop night, held at Morocco Bound in Bermondsey, run by the wonderful poet Ruth Beddow. Since then, I have created some of my favourite pieces, had works published in their collaborative anthology "Slow Progress,’ and met a whole new community of like-minded poets. Including Tim Foley who introduced me to ‘Write Speak Recover.’ When he shared with me his ethos of creating a space where writers can share the ways in which writing has helped them on their respective mental health journeys, I was utterly enthralled and compelled to get involved. It’s projects like these that treat writing not as a competition, but as a means of lifting each other up and inspiring one another to create the best possible work we can. Despite whatever might be going on in our lives.
Even Death Works for Amazon
Even death works for Amazon now
grey droopy rings have formed beneath his empty sockets
after an 18-hour shift, 120 deliveries
and zero breaks.
One web of Ivory knuckles
clasped around the steering wheel
the other wrapped around a bottle
as it fills up with his piss.
Black vial melting through the plastic
frothing in a pool by the acceleration pedal.
Give him the days of the French Revolution
when his scythe would fall with every
shimmer of the guillotine.
Shoulders swinging and heads rolling
like on Hade’s golf course.
But now it’s all GPS Tracking,
Same Day Deliveries and drab, monotone recitals of
“Your time has come!”
Not even the Death of Twitter can
Lift his dead spirits.
Because death has sold out to the highest bidder
And it's Bezos who’s writing the blank checks.
He signs his name with a little skull after it
as if he was mocking death,
as if to say -
“ye, I know! You’d kill me if you could.
But then you’d be out of a job
and I can always get someone else
to reap souls for the rest of eternity.”
On the writing process
I’d like to start off by saying that despite the obvious differences in media, form and craft I see little distinction between any of my artistic pursuits. Whether it be poetry, prose, music or visual art. My mood will take me into any of the above and I'll roll with it. And, often the lines will blur between them to the point that one art form will mould into another.
When I first started to create, I would forever be chasing that golden moment of inspiration. That thunder bolt that felt less like I was writing a poem. More-so that my subconscious was a conduit for the universe floating to the forefront of my mind, to bring forth this fresh truth into existence. This is all well and good when it happens, but during periods of my life when my mental health was at an all-time low (we are talking ‘don’t leave me alone with any sharp objects’ low). The world felt like a too big and scary place to deal with and waiting for such a moment became an exercise in futility. Now I understand that as an artist I must be proactive in my approach - carving out the time and space to be creative rather than waiting for it to happen.
My best piece of advice to anyone reading would be to always maintain a curiosity about everything. As if you're a child. Constantly learning, constantly at play. In my opinion having an absolutist or tunnel view mind set is death for any artist. Everyone has their own perspective on everything. Every detail you notice in anything lends itself to a whole new point of view waiting to be exploited. It’s a case of feeding your subconscious with as much material as possible (poetry, novels, films etc) then letting your imagination fill in the gaps. And if it doesn’t work out how you’d originally hoped, don’t worry about it. You’ve already taken that first step and it can only get better. You've found a recipe for how to engender your own personal flow state so just keep sticking with it. Eventually you’ll create something you're truly proud of.
I also think it’s important to remember that in this post truth, neoliberal world, it has become all to easy to become despondent or complacent when your being bombarded 24/7 by a news cycle or an Instagram feed that is determined to lull one into a catatonic state so that the powers-that-be can continue to erode personal freedoms and flout international laws. Thoughts that come to mind when thinking about this are;
“If I'm so tired after work, I can’t be bothered to do anything else.”
"The world's so fucked, what can I do to change it?”
“What is the point of creating anything when there are a million people out there doing what I do who are better than me.”
It's thoughts like these that have kept many great artists that I know from putting out their work. To combat this recently, as opposed to wallowing in despair, I have attempted to be proactive by keeping myself informed about current events to educate myself and form my own opinions about said events. As opposed to the narrative presented by social or corporate media.
I found that this has had a knock-on effect on my artist output, giving it a depth and resonance that it otherwise wouldn’t have. I believe that all artist output with this mind set is an act of defiance. Empowering the individual and resonating with a like-minded audience that will be imbued with a hope and determination to do the same. Maybe even bringing a little levity to the situation.
Since subscribing to this strain of philosophy, it has become my genuine belief that it is not only every creative person's right to create, but their moral obligation - to create, create and create again; to whatever end that may be. It’s also important to know not to put too much pressure on oneself. As I alluded to before, to be an artist is to be in communication with your inner child. To be in a perpetual state of play, with no concern whether what you’re creating is ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Just run with what you're passionate about and what you believe in, and the rest will come with time.
Favourite poets, poetry nights, books or other resources:
Some early poetic influences for me have been Bob Dylan, Silvia Plath, William Shakespeare and John Cooper Clark.
Given what I said earlier, the Morocco Bound poetry workshops and open mics seems like an obvious recommendation, and I really can’t recommend them enough. They are such a fantastic space for creativity and performance. Please visit the bookshop and get a copy of our anthology “Slow Progress.” It’s been an honour to have my work published alongside such talented poets.
There is also a fantastic writing group called “Page of Wands” who operate out of the Set Social in Peckham Rye every Monday. An incredibly open and welcoming space for new writers who are struggling to find the space, time or motivation to write. They also put on their own events outside of the weekly Monday meet up as well as publishing their own fanzine.
Also, for a bit of inspiration or just some sound mental health advice. Check out The Blind Boy podcast. Available on all streaming/audio platforms.
For current affairs. Check out Navara Live (independent media)
Write Speak Recover, in collaboration with TheNeverPress is an open, free collection of original portraits of poets using their art to find strength in their recovery journey from any form of dis-ease.
We invite you to follow Write Speak Recover on Instagram and to reach out to Tim Foley at WSR or us directly at the zine to learn more, or put yourself forward to be featured in this initiative.
Hit the logo for more Write Speak Recover content 👇
If you need support, here are some resources:
Samaritans
Alcohol Change
Recovery Dharma
Alcoholics Anonymous
This article was brought to you by Tim Foley and edited by Gabby Spearing