I first encountered Grace at the Writeb4theMic poetry night led by the wonderful Starlight. I was very new to the scene, it was my first time at a group like that. I felt like I was in the presence of mystics. Grace in particular, captured me, with her poise and gentle command of space. Speaking only when she had something important to say, to bring her unique perspective and value to the group. She had a long, deep poem memorised, (a skill I still have yet to master) and the room was completely at one with her as she spoke. Fast forward a few months and I was privileged enough to speak along with Grace as a guest on the Storytime London podcast. Our bios mirrored each other - “Grace loves to tell stories that live within her world and the one around her” and “Tim visits his inner and outer worlds, exploring the nature and people that live in them”. We had a giggle about that, and it’s those moments of hidden connectivity, between two people whose paths may not have otherwise crossed, that makes this poetry community so meaningful. - Tim Foley - Founder, Write Speak Recover
Please be mindful WSR content can be thematically sensitive.
Grace
To me, writing has always been a form of release. It is my translation of the world around and within me. Poetry turned into my mother tongue. I’ve always been ‘in my own world’, and I didn’t see the effects of this until I started interacting with people more. It took a longer time for me to trust people, I limited myself, I carried a lot, whole generations worth, and I trusted freely. As I was the only person I chose to navigate all of this, it was the blind leading the blind and my mental health took the brunt of it. When life happened; grief washed over, relationships failed, love lost, I did not have healthy coping mechanisms. And I think what’s worse, is I thought I was alone in it. I didn’t know who to turn to, at the risk of feeling like a burden or not being understood. When in reality I didn’t really try. Actually, to be easier on myself, I didn’t have the tools to understand myself better and reach out when I needed help. I don’t need to list what I’ve been through in life, for people to understand the depths of grief, rejection, pain, depression, love. And there’s beauty in that, being connected through the intangible rather than the tangible. That connection breeds creativity, which is why I wanted be involved in this project.
Healing and recovery is an ongoing process, it also exceeds human understanding. Our minds and bodies are pushed to their limits when healing, we carry more than we ever believed we could. At times we can be selfish, but also we can give and pour into others with the little we have left. It's so interesting, that we can find ourselves running so far from what represents our version of home. Though, in the journey, we find a renewed sense of home, purpose or belonging. Generational trauma has a way of seeping into our lives, collecting broken pieces scattered from the past and finding new pedestals to place them. We are always healing. I have been broken, and healed more times than I can count, each time not knowing if I had the strength to endure. But, my faith has been instrumental in putting me back together each time. I am not easy to love, but God has poured so much of His love into me that it’s impossible to doubt that I am ever alone in this journey. To go back to what I said in the beginning; it’s impossible to limit myself, there is nothing that He cannot carry for me and I trust people because I trust Him first.
Now, I have not got it all together, trust me. I just have a whole lot more hope and faith than I used to, and I believe that’s what’s needed before the first step of any healing journey. Hope it gets better, and faith that you have what it takes to get through it. Even if both are as small as a mustard seed.
Do it for self, love
She’s left with an echo of past regrets
Her shadow always shorter in length,
trying to catch her in transit
between the light and dark.
Remnants of her inner child,
trying to catch up
the voice of her innocence, replaced with the trials of consequence
if only she were to listen,
If only,
what she won’t do,
She can do for love
She slow dances with thoughts of a safe hold around her heart,
What would it look like for those hands not to be so calloused, so harsh.
But as soft as the earth after the rain has poured,
As kind as the moonlight on her eyelids.
How she wishes she can be held.
If only,
What she won’t do,
She can do for love
In times of reflection she traces the edges of her mask,
made from clay, moulded through the absence of innocence.
She flirts with the idea of letting it fall into ashes.
If she were to look closer,
She’ll see,
Her youth dancing in the dark circles of her pupils.
If only she could reach out,
She’ll see instead of a mask, she holds flowers.
She was destined to walk on rose petals,
not amongst the remnants of clay,
If only she chose her steps carefully.
Tread lightly,
Back to her younger self.
If only,
What she won’t do,
She can do for love.
Of self.
This poem was inspired by Snoh Aalegra’s version of ‘DO 4 LOVE’. My dear friend Mike Cann-Abaidoo, whose also a talented saxophone player, created a beautiful backing track that I wrote to.
On the writing process
I mentioned before, that poetry turned into my mother tongue. Well, it’s because till this day, it amazes me that I can struggle to understand a feeling or event but once I write about it - I’ve started to process it. I’ve started to feel safe again. That is my writing process, writing has always been so personal to me. Poetry is both what I run towards and away from because the truth can be a little too loud when I start writing about it. But, it’s helped me face it. I know something isn’t right, if I can’t write about it.
What’s more, my writing has taken me down paths I did not know was possible nor envision for myself. It’s given a mic to the girl whose voice was barely a whisper. I’ve created worlds through my gift of story telling, and breathed life into what I once thought of as mundane.
I guess, I’m inspired by the world and my perspective of it. Which sounds exactly like what an only child would say. But it’s also the one medium of art that connects me with so many, I can hear a line that inspires a piece where I’ve poured my heart out. And the same can happen again with someone else and my piece. The ripple effects of showing your vulnerability can be someone’s road to recovery.
I’m also inspired by scripture, the Bible is a beautiful book filled with so much poetry and lessons. One of my favourite pieces, was born through reading more about the garden of Eden and translating it. I believe my intuition is tied with God’s wisdom for me, so when I have a thought or idea for a piece I try my best to follow it through. Meaning, more often than not you will find some reference to faith in my pieces.
Favourite poets, poetry nights, books or other resources:
My community is full of my favourite poets, honestly there are too many to name. My inspiration is Maya Angelou - not just her words but her essence. She was poetry.
I’ve had the blessing of going to poetry events that do not just platform art but promote community, to name a few:
Prophetic Nights
Poets Corner
Bloom
Storytime
Conversation with the Constellations
Write B4 The Mic
BYOB
Write Speak Recover, in collaboration with TheNeverPress is an open, free collection of original portraits of poets using their art to find strength in their recovery journey from any form of dis-ease.
We invite you to follow Write Speak Recover on Instagram and to reach out to Tim Foley at WSR or us directly at the zine to learn more, or put yourself forward to be featured in this initiative.
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If you need support, here are some resources:
Samaritans
Alcohol Change
Recovery Dharma
Alcoholics Anonymous
Be kind. Stay present. One moment after the next.
This article was put together by Tim Foley, the WSR contributor and Graham Thomas.
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