I met Aaliyah at the wonderful, welcoming Orbit brewery open mic night, and was immediately immersed in her universe. Aaliyah is one of those souls you meet who you wish you could sit with by a campfire under stars and listen to their wisdom for a while. In her most recent Pixie Dust Podcast she talks about mirroring and understanding how what you see in other people can reflect the things you either love or “shadow” in yourself. That has been a self reflective part of this project for me, to meet and share space with people I may not have otherwise known and to learn from them. She references the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho'oponopono in the podcast - and it’s something I have previously written about (and have self indulgently shared at the end of the article), and really that’s what this is all about, - finding ways to say sorry to, thank, forgive and to love yourself.
So, remember, if you ever see a pixie passing by, be sure to ask her to share some magic dust with you, to help you on your way… - Tim Foley, founder, Write Speak Recover
Please be mindful that WSR content can be thematically sensitive.
Aaliyah
My name is Aaliyah, known as The Communist Witch in the poetry scene. I consider myself a poet and storyteller. I find it so fascinating to be able to turn the worlds inside my head into words on a page that other people can share in. I started writing when I was really young, but when I turned 16 a friend introduced me to Allen Ginsberg’s Howl, and my whole relationship with poetry just changed. There was something about the stream of consciousness writing that lit me up and made me feel like all the things that made me upset and angry about the state of the world, I could express too. At the time I was facing the reality of being a young Muslim girl in a society that didn’t really want to extend its compassion towards people of my background, and witnessing so much injustice made me overwhelmed and frustrated. So, I wrote a poem called Loss of Youth about the impact capitalism has on our young, and it spiralled from there. Writing became a healing outlet for me because I was able to take all the thoughts and feelings I had and use symbolism, imagery and metaphor to articulate them in a way that was both engaging and stimulating for the people I wanted to reach (and also great at exposing harsh truths and making people empathise with situations that ordinarily they might not relate to).
As I got older, I was dealing with intense anxiety and fear around my future, about not having anything figured out and the fear that comes along with not knowing what place you should take in the world. So, I started diving deep into my subconscious and after lots of reading and listening, I started to focus on concepts like surrender, presence and things like the law of attraction, which led me to release my debut book Moments of Metamorphosis.
With writing and poetry especially, it always felt like it wasn’t even my own voice that was coming out. Thoughts transmute through me, bubbling up, until I have no choice but to write everything down. It’s like I’m channelling something higher and it’s trying to communicate itself through my lyrics. But the healing nature of language became such a strong focal point for me and my writing started to feel like affirmations that I could turn to when I needed reminders of my personal power. And I feel like writing and language really has the power to transform your mind so that your ego is not in control of you, but instead you can take the power back. This project is such a magical experience to be a part of, because just like what I have personally experienced, the power that language has to heal you is transformative, and any way that I can contribute to that healing lights me up.
The Path To God
I sat in a gathering of birds
Their songs whispered secrets I had never once heard
Gentle melodies that reminded me of infinite worlds
Like a pit bubbling inside of me ready to expand
I turned to Mother Gaia and asked her to teach me how to forgive.
She said,
"You think there are so many answers
But I only taught you one universal truth.
Do not seek your knowledge from the ones who think the path is anything but Divine plans
The ones who think that judgement should belong in their hands."
But Mother Gaia, I answered,
My ego reflects the conditioning this world was built upon
A sense of identity, I was forced to dance along
A role I didn't recognise, to bend and mould the way they see fit
Until my ego was just a reflection of their own sin.
I was told the path to you is a simple one
A foundation that is not built with bricks but planted roses
Where empathy can flourish
Soulfulness has the right nurturing to open its buds
Purity can bloom open all at once.
Mother Gaia laughed.
Like a slight whisper in the wind, her voice travelled to me speaking truth into existence,
"It is easy to hold onto a resentment you didn't choose
The small girl who wanted nothing other than to be approved
Validated and vindicated, with the choice to choose
How to be a child without suffering
How to love without conditioning."
Suddenly the birds stopped singing
With bated breath they waited for the next reckoning
She sensed the quiet and let the vibrations begin glittering,
"Healing requires letting go.
That there is a soul that lives beyond time and form
Is energy you can tap into under this tranquil sun, that is constantly reborn.
Feel Spirit speak to you,
Guide you to the places where you belong.
It is not the ego that shows you the way
But the souls in the spirit plane.
Conversations sparked under gentle song,
The whispers of a tune that they all forgot,
Thanking these beautiful beings that should gather here in a time to remember what was once lost.
A space of gratitude
Fear does not belong where you went
The only thing you feel now is the iridescence of their radiance."
A bird trilled one last time
Something someone shared made my heart twitter
Fluttering through the breeze as the tweeting of a thrust.
On the Writing Process
Writing has always felt like an inner need, like a desperate voice that needs to speak and express itself, like it can’t be controlled. I’ve always been outspoken, but when it comes to my personal feelings and intricate emotions, I can struggle to articulate exactly what I need to. But with poetry, I’ve always felt this innate ability to just express what’s on my mind and use the poetic form to do that. It feels like poetry has this ability to communicate the depths of my soul and I really love that aspect.
The way I write is still incredibly spontaneous. I’ve never been one to sit down and force myself to write, I find nothing really comes out of me that way. But meditation is a super powerful tool for me and even in everyday life, being in a contemplative state allows me to quiet my mind enough that I’ll observe something, or observe a thought that will pop up, and it will create this insane flow inside my brain of words and images and metaphors and suddenly everything stops and the words just start flowing. Normally, I write a long form poem within a few minutes because that’s the way the words present themselves in my head. It’s a great tool for my recovery because letting my mind express itself in this way has given my brain the space to breathe and think, so I’m not overwhelmed with so much thinking.
I also think a huge contributor to how writing has been helpful is the fact that through writing, we build community. And in my opinion community is the backbone to healing. Finding people who you can relate with, where conversations flow and you’re automatically talking about your mind’s inner workings is such a powerful thing. To see each other as soul beings and recognise the way we mirror each other has also been so helpful to me. Through writing I’ve been able to learn more about the mind and that healing journey because my writing has taken me to spaces and people who I can connect with on that journey.
Favourite poets, poetry nights, books or other resources:
If we’re talking about books, and healing, I can’t help but bring up my long list of spiritual thinkers who have dramatically shaped my thinking. Specifically, Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now and Abraham Hicks’ Ask and It Is Given. But also, as a literature nerd I absolutely love the Japanese zen poets, like Basho, and the book Japanese Death Poems which include so many beautiful zen poets. In terms of poetry nights, I must mention Write2speak; what Yossi and Tyler have done is essentially build a night that feels more like a community and family gathering than a performance. Every time I go I feel healed just a little more.
Anything else you’d like to add/in closing:
I just want to say that when it comes to healing, it can feel like such a daunting prospect. What do I heal? Where do I begin? How do I uncover my subconscious mind? But the truth is, all this work that everyone talks about, for me, boils down to one thing. Which is simply to allow. To just breathe. To just surrender and accept, at whatever place you’re in, because it’s that place that allows you to find the steps to heal. It's kind of gross, but I say think of it like a spot. The best thing you can do is let it be there, don’t aggravate it, just accept it for what it is without attachment to it, because soon enough, the spot purges out of you and what’s left underneath is fresh and clear.
Forgiving Me - Tim Foley
I love you is the first line I have to say to you
It catches slightly in my throat,
I’m unsure it is true
I’m sorry is the second line that I offer next
It’s difficult to say it though, hurts more than I expect
Now I say forgive me, followed by a please
If only you’d accept it, my heart can be at ease
And finally a thank you for all that we’ve been through
For all that we’ve encountered, made us me and you.
And now I’ve said my penance I notice something strange
I feel a peace within me, I feel that I am changed
I realise that forgiveness wasn’t meant for you
It was a gift to give myself, a long time overdue.
Write Speak Recover, in collaboration with TheNeverPress is an open, free collection of original portraits of poets using their art to find strength in their recovery journey from any form of dis-ease.
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Samaritans
Alcohol Change
Recovery Dharma
Alcoholics Anonymous
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